So… a four winged dinosaur was discovered!
I dunno man. While the science kid in me was totally enchanted when I first heard this, the let’s-ruin-christmas-for-myself side of me was like… “wouldn’t that just slow it down? Or make it go in big vertical circles?”
How the eff’s that supposed to work?
Indeed, Changyuraptor yangi – the majestic relic related to velociraptor – did manage to “find a way”. Magic? Even though they still aren’t sure if he flapped or glided, buzzkill scientists have another theory – saying flight and landings depended on that big ass tail. Because this griffin of the skies was Peter Griffin sized, that means he’d fly faster and have a bit of a conundrum of the crash landing genre without a few deceleration accessories.
And in that respect, the feathers were kinda magic. Because while the snobby-nose upturn pre-touchdown was part of his landing plan (like a horse pulling back it’s own reigns), it was that feathered tail that was “instrumental for decreasing descent speed and assuring a safe landing,” according to a study on him that I only skimmed over. The body blueprints of this badboy made him able to captain his body toward earth, the same way you’d land a plane and those motherfluffing feathers were 12-inches long apiece. The ruler long plumage adorned every inch of his glorious body, right down to the tail. Even his legs rocked quills.
Aw, he’s actually starting to sound kinda cute – like a flying shih-tzu!
Without the cute ears or-
Mmm. Nevermind…
Wait, is he stabbing that shadow man in the heart?
Like he’s already killed him – and now he’s still haunting him in the afterlife?
Eternal damnation by sodomizing his cardiac cavity with his feather phallus for the remainder of eternity?
Probably. Because the levitating dyno demon hailing for Northeastern China wasn’t messin’ ’round. Homie may not be as large and looming as the giant dinosaur tyrant (who became a douchebag after he got teased all through middle school for having hypochondroplasia arms) – but yangi still backs a punch. 125 milly years ago, those four flying limbs probably came in pretty handy for his predatory proclivities – affording him a steady diet of smaller birds, fish, mammals, and lizards he’d eviscerate with those mean ass claws and beak.
In sum, my non-science-no-evidence-whatsoever assessment is that he definitely broke at least one and a half laws of physics what with all those feathers on four flapping limbs – since each feather was one fourth the size of his whole body. Wait, wait – can we talk about this for a second? How long must it take to grow that shiz? Is it like when starfish grow new arms?
Or more like the time I was a fish who grew new legs to evolve into a land animal?
Oh, wait -… GUYS!
(*yells toward backroom*)
That’s the wrong gif! Can we please get -…
Ah, there it is.
#TBT