I love a good make-your-intestines-cringe style prank.
Especially when it’s got levels to it.
My recent fave was the stunt driver chick who didn’t warn her blind dates (I thought it was mostly ‘cause they didn’t ask – but maybe they did and she just lied about it #liesarefun) that she recklessly yet impeccably manned automobiles for a living. Then, there ensued a hidden-cam floorshow of delighted dude shrieks (and some crying) as she went from I-dunno-how-to-drive-a-stick to rubber burning badassery. When Miss Fast and Spurious finally ceased the prankery, the dudes seemed to be good sports, which I could believe based on most’a their reactions while the prank was still playing out.
I had trouble, however, believing these couples were as good of sports “during” this prank.
Or after:
1.) I thought they were going to reenact South Park’s “Taco Flavored Kisses” song in the first second of this video.
2.) Honestly, I want to see the outtakes of this jovial social experiment.
Because I know they exist. Like, I’m not just guessing here. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that somewhere in a vault, there’s at least, like three, videos they refuse to show us of reality unraveling in the most immoderately violent way on the part of the ladies outside those waiting rooms. With my third eye, I’m envisaging the unassuming, cardigan sheathed Stepford wife who snaps like a computer short circuiting and bum rushes hubby, as both of them tumble into the full length mirror, whereupon her fists indefatigably pummel his mug until his face bones are malleable.
Yes, her and the ghetto fabulous looking chick who skips anger at hubby and does what dumb bishes do best – point the finger in the wrong direction, and blame the dressing room attendant, whereupon a row ensues. And then, when the hottie emerges from the room, she doesn’t stop the cat-fight with the innocent chick, but grabs blondie by the weave and all three have a fight. Then there are pillows. And then everyone gets naked. (It is a dressing room, after all.)
And, finally, there’d be the one I was really hoping they’d show: Miss Calm-like-a-bomb. She remains expressionless and silent as the evidence of man-whoring reveals itself. Without so much as a twitch in the fabric of her face muscle network, she reaches into her purse, produces a glock, points it at his face, pulls the trigger, does a catwalk pirouette and walks outta the stoor mic-drop style. Then, the girl from behind the mirror, walks out, slips on the pool of blood, falls and dies next to him.
But, believe it or not, there’s something more disturbing at play here than the morbid fantasy world I live in and occasionally invite you to visit. What struck me most about this prank (and I can’t help but think at least a handful of my fellow coven members out there noticed it too) isn’t the shock ‘n awe reaction of the chicks seeing lipstick or the girl stumbling out. It’s the guy’s reaction.
Because it’s exactly how f’real cheaters react when they’ve been legit caught.
Yes, a cringe-worthy prank’s good.
But even better is one with enough layers to unintentionally make you question how good a liar-reader you are.