Stephen Hawking suggests we recon the cosmos for a new home. Like, now.

Stephen Hawking says we should get our asses into outer space fast. But like… why should I listen to the smartest theoretical physicist since Einstein? I do what I want. Well, I won’t be able to do what I want when I come back next lifetime as a mouse or mouse dung fungus. And that’ll suck for not-so-badass-anymore me. ’cause Hawking insists we can’t live on earth indefinitely – not.. Read More

Look what SCIENCE found! Another earth!

Goldilocks was a lucky ass bitch. All she had to do was forage for porridge and then determine which mattress to steal for her nap. Like most self-entitled American princesses, she didn’t have to worry about stuff like “Find oxygen, water, and habitable temperatures”. In that way, we’re all pretty lucky. For now. We get to breathe air. That’s a pretty big goddamned deal. But many moons from now (waves.. Read More