Siri’s uselessness forces me into self awareness, yet again.

I shouldn’t eat that before my run… “SIRI: WHY ARE THESE DATES SO DELICIOUS?” I shouldn’t be now physically eating this before my run… “SIRI: WHY CAN’T I STOP EATING THESE DATES?” I shouldn’t be eating this before my run OR asking an effing computer to explain my lack of self-control to me. Such was how yesterday ensued for me. I rarely buy dates or figs anymore because they’re the.. Read More

Siri’s a ride o’ die ass bish.

Ever wonder if technology could help you hide a crime? Like the bodies of telemarketers you’ve tracked down and murdered? Or feed dispossessed pets to an ATM? Well, wonder no more! Much like our spiritual paths, our god given homicidal gifts can be educed easily if we only look at that which we already have. Like Siri, for instance. And, indeed, today’s tech accomplice (techomplice?) award for assistance in murder.. Read More

Siri Symbolism

So, I’m too lazy to make the effort of first – picking up the remote, second – clicking to the weather channel, and third- (the worst part because I’m so impatient), waiting until commercials or whatever are over to see what the forecast will be. Naturally, I go ahead and ask the lady in my phone instead (which requires only two quick steps of pressing a big round button and.. Read More