Q: Hey, what do you get when you take PCP and Bath Salts and mix ‘em together?

A: You don’t.

You don’t take PCP. Or take bath salts. Much less mix ‘em.

Well, one would hope that would be the answer, given the vast catalog of examples the internet has provided for us in various media forms. (Everyone remember the bath salts guy who got taken away on a stretcher?) Unfortunately, however, this is reality – a painful place we all live in and all constantly seek to escape via everything from addictions, denial about our addicions, and nonstop solitary viewing parties of Orange is the New Black until we have to switch sides of the couch cuzza the ass groove we’ve made and our sexual proclivities have switched sides as well.

Thus, it should come as no surprise that there are substances like bath salts or PCP or a combo of ‘em being made and used out there. And, in a way, I suppose I can see how after a long hard day of sitting at a computer, sitting in traffic, and standing in a grocery line – how that beauty mag cover featuring a sexy Kate Upton whose tits you’ll never have might just be the final straw. Your “I give up” moment. That one existential-inquiry catalyst that has you asking, “Alright. That’s it. I’m ordering some flakka tonight from the blow slinger above me in 2E. Because why not?”

Well, here’s one reason why not:

This gentleman, who took flakka – the real answer for what happens when you stir up two different kinds of snortable madness, ran through the streets of Florida unclothed, announced he was god, and attacked the authorities. He may very well’ve been – too – considering the fact that when they tased him, homie ripped out the probes like Eric Northman plucking bullets from his skin and proceeded to try stabbing the officer with his own badge. Then, he topped off the unclad chemical floorshow the entire neighborhood was now ogling with an arboreal assault as well.

Yes… of the sexual kind.

Kinda gives a whole new meaning to “tree hugger”.

Maybe he should stick to the sticky icky trees instead next time.