Your dog’s got envy issues.
Don’t feel badly – so does mine, says science.
It’s not necessarily the four-legged-third-wheel syndrome you see when you start dating someone. And it’s not always even jealousy of other f’real dogs, either – it’s just envy about us directing any of our ardent attention enthusiastically onto something… that’s not them. Even treating inanimate objects like other dogs is grounds for a green-eyed canine. Such is what a recent study showed – while looking at dogs observing their owners’ interactions with inanimate things-that-aren’t-Fido and treating these objects like they were sentient creatures.
Before we proceed with my pontification, I’d just like to share this one part of the study:
“They recorded the behavior of 36 dogs in their own homes as their owners ignored them and played with 3 different items: a stuffed animated dog that barked and wagged its tail, a jack-o’-lantern or a book”
Wait – how do I “play” with a jack-o-lantern? And a book?
NVM. Figured it out.
No? Doing it wrong?
We may never know, but what was seen time and again was the fact that the dogs treated the more animal-like interloper as a furry force to be reckoned with. They barked at it, tried to set a pet pick (by burrowing its body between the owner and the stuffed animal), and did every dog version of a toddler stomping its feet there is, all in the name of justifiably trying to halt this act of blasphemy and show this tresspasser how the hierarchy works in this household.
If I’m being honest, I feel like the “jealousy” element of this story isn’t 100% surprising. It’s the same thing cats do on a grander level – treat your attention like a resource – if it’s rare or being given to something else like a keyboard, it’s precious (translation: something else will get trampled over and probably smell like eucalyptus leaves tomorrow morning). When you’re ready to snuggle, they can’t be found. But what never fails to amuse me with my dog is that stuffed-animal association. Whether I’m tossing around a fake creature or my dog’s just come inside after seeing another dog – something in her little skull Pinocchio’s anything from a toy to my faux “Welcome” yorkie made of wood into a temporary sparring partner.
Ya know – maybe they’re not jealous at all.
Maybe the dogs in studies like these just think their owners have gone batshit crazy – and they’re only playing along to make us feel better about ourselves until our sanity’s restored. Because it’d take a nutjob to genuinely favor fake pals when your IRL buddy’s right here waiting to play.
Duh.