Chips ahoy! Set sail for hell!
Because that’s just where you might be speed boating to if you’re as unlucky as this 49 year old lady who got caught by her 23 year old roomie with an open package of sweet snacks in the A.M. Upon entering the kitchen they shared, the dude with whom she lived observed the savory forensic evidence – an opened cookie container with three of them missing, and thusly battered her for having a breakfast of baked goods.
To be fair, it’s not an optimal meal choice for a middle aged lady. Very unhealthy. And just how does she expect to pay her half of the rent if she croaks on crisps? She won’t. He’d be left with his peckeridge farm in one hand and an eviction notice in the other. It’s not fair.
So he issued an eviction notice of his own – from his fingers and addressed to her throat.
A row ensued between the two, during which she only took him half seriously and said, “if you’re gonna kill me – then just do it.” Apparently this green light was all he needed to turn green hulk – because the argument then escalated to him charging at her and letting her wash down that sugar with water – by wringing her neck in the bathtub. Ultimately, it took both her hubbie and landlord to prevent this treat revenge from climaxing in sweet death.
Wait a second.
Goss pause number one: She’s 49 and has a husband – but lives with a 23 year old instead?
Goss pause number two: The news never offers the relevant information.
For example, one online news source said:
Online court records don’t show whether Hall has an attorney. He does not have a listed home telephone number. Hall remained jailed Saturday in lieu of $75,000 bond.
Yes. Fine. Whatever. Boring.
What I want to know is: did they ever find out if they were even his cookies?
Because I feel like that matters as I try to judge him.
Ya know…
…beyond the fact that he looks like someone who’d be hired to do a backwoods rape scene.
Reader opinion time!
What foods would you choke a bitch over?