Hey lady moms!
Is your life giving quality just your nether-cat being a copy-cat? Hey, don’t shoot those laser eyes at me, I’m just reporting what science has to say about this. In a study published in the American Sociological review, indeed it seems that the manifestation of life by the vaj is ultra viral. In the internet sense of the term, at least. The idea is that if you’re in your mid 20’s and your gurl-frand from high school just propagated a tot, you likely will in the next couple years too.
The concept’s nada new (inasmuch as people often follow their cohort group).
In an evolutionary sense, it can happen because what we surround ourselves with is our reality. Like if you graduated high school, saw your best friend’s prom accident surprise bundle of joy(s)…
… and felt like there was nothing else the world had to offer you anyway – that daily dose of Yaz might’ve “slipped your mind” a few times. And you thusly might’ve began the natal parade prematurely too.
It’s said there’s an evolutionary advantage to that inasmuch as you gain more of a commonality with your tribe. Like a PTA pack. Likewise, that “I could do that better” idea (the same delusion that leads single people like me to give out relache advice) creeps up when we see the people we relate to having mental breakdowns over a job they only have to do 24/7. Obviously you’d be better at it.
And if you’re not, you can just pretend you are.
Then, as ever, there’s the social media influence.
This changes the game because of the “portrayal” element. Whether it fills you with longing or annoyance – we’re all affected by those heart icons that don’t tell the whole story or the infant photo albums (which almost look like an extended silent movie of a supine child wiggling if you hold down the arrow key and breeze through the 400 photos of it doing nothing). And that’s alright when it’s my niece. Why? Because my niece shares my bloodline which is superior to yours, duh. Do try to keep up.
Even so, I (without maternal inklings or desire to mate up) still experience that twinge of wallflowery when I see everyone and their mother becoming a mothe- (Oh. Wait. That phrase doesn’t work here). I can sit back like the hallway of your childhood home which quietly bore witness to each annual height marker measurement, and say “That’s nice. I’ll just sit here and carry on being a wall.” But those little markers on my screen wallpaper of social info are kinda like a fascist measurement system: “You must be at this milestone marker to being living life right.”
But what if I find your milestones as appealing as riding in Hitler’s Mercedes?
So, ya know. I ignore it a lot of the time. And apparently for good reason.
The same studies that review this and assure us it’s nothing new show examples of other “follow the trend” behavior on and off social media. Whether it’s drinking, smoking, diving off a chair with a noose ’round your neck, or the flip-side of mounting the fitness bandwagon (wait, how are you going to burn any calories riding in a wagon?), we tend to run with our pack (that’s better). If more people are doing it, then they must all be doing it ‘cause they’re happy. Right? It’s one thing when we can see people in the flesh because we see the crying child and the frustrated stressed out mom. If she’s just pretending to love motherhood, the lies will expose themselves in her sighs and microexpressions that say “what is life, even?”
But can that same “bigger picture” translate into the pixel-sphere? Can a thousand pictures saying a thousand words – actually speak the truth about what family life’s like?
Hmmm. Maybe. Sometimes.
