Fkkn finally… A death simulator is here.
When I read about this new 4D thrill (or “shrill”, as they call it) ride in China that simulates death, cremation, and being reborn – I was excited. But admittedly, I wasn’t as excited as I could be. That’s just because I’ve long said that I wish there was a virtual reality experience that brought you as close to death as possible so that when you take off your matrix mask, you’re transformed. Ya know? Like those patients who flatline for twenty minutes and then come back like zombies who’ve self actualization during their brief excursion from this world? For instance, this ride – while awesome sounding – went to great lengths, but focuses more on the superficial stuff. They did their research by visiting a crematorium – even laying in the incinerator – and went so far as to add the fun “being reborn” big finale, where you emerge in a padded room. That’s cool ‘n all, but the research and rebirth I want for the ride I have in mind would add a giant yes-and to this: I’d want it to incorporate details from the likes of the Dr. Eben Alexander and Amy Purdy types (both who’ve died, come back, and been badasses ever since). I want people to undergo that alleged DMT brain-flood they claim happens right at the moment where your soul’s snatched from your flesh. And more time in the white light tunnel – but not campy. In fact, I want the “God Helmet” involved so that people are noggin sodomized via electrodes into believing beyond a shadow of a doubt that they’re in the next realm. That this isn’t a game anymore.
They didn’t test this VR game well enough. You’ve actually crossed over.
When people on my ride get reborn, I want the change to be permanent.
I want it to happen in such a way where they’re inspired to make a novel long bucket list, finish it in a week, and then make another. They won’t go back to their shitty, hateful ways ever again. Why? Because they’ll’ve had a profound, thoroughgoing epiphany that this’s all gonna end – any time now. If we all took our expiration dates more seriously, we’d take life’s trivial drama less seriously, and maybe manage to dredge a little joy outta it. That’s exactly what’s missing in our lives of cruel words and actions, missed opportunities, and ridiculous family quarrels. That question: if this person died tomorrow, what would I still feel guilty about doing? Not doing? Or – if I got a death sentence from the doc tomorrow, what would I regret on my death bed? I feel like we forget that easily. We write death off like it’s not gonna happen (probably mostly ’cause most of us’ve never done it before and come back). As someone who’s shitty at envisaging that kinda stuff myself, I can appreciate the fact that it’s a challenge to imagine. So, that – my Chinese friends – is why you should hire me to help you design my Mortality Matrix NDE helmet. Let’s build it here in ‘murca though.
’cause visiting China probably won’t be on my bucket list till after I’ve tested our creation.
Oh, and the name of my game ride?
This: