So this delicious little dish of Vogue eye candy got arrested for stealing candy.

First, I love the lawyer’s reply to the allegations that go as follows: 1. He said she forgot she had the items (like… chocolate bars?) in her bag when she left Whole Foods. 2. He said the “store detectives” singled her out. #IDon’tKnowHowToLawyer

“While she was about to leave the store … she remembered what she had in her bag. When she turned around, the store detectives were like, ‘We got you,’ ” he told The Post.

Where? Wha-… I don’t even know where to start. I think he’s going with confuse-opposition-into-giving up tactic here because: who puts unpaid-for shiz in their personal purse before reaching checkout? And what the Toblerone is a “store detective”? After you elucidate that for me, I’ll need to know two more things: is “store detective” an actual profession? And did you print your degree from the internet?

First, this is funny because her actual lawyer’s name is “Sal”. But we’d better be better off with the hapless fictional Breaking Bad Saul instead – because at least he’d never come up with a garbage yes-and to the already non-logic above that this guy did: “The complaint states that she attempted to leave — it doesn’t state that she did leave. She’s totally innocent,” he said. Yes. Because being on the exit’s threshold isn’t sufficient. Let’s wait until she’s in her car. Speeding away. Wait! Why not send the store detectives after her on their segue scooters? Where’s my popcorn?

I can’t wait to watch the chase on Spike TV later!

No, Sal. That’s not why she should be released.

And it’s also not that she’s scorchingly hot enough to earn a get-outta-jail-free-card in my book. Really it’s more about the embarrassment factor here. Yes. It’s mortifying enough being caught red (or dark, dark 100% cacao brown) handed when you have stolen snacks that go against the starvation diet that allows you to fit in editorial fashion clothing. Models aren’t allowed to have anything but baby food in the first place. (The lucky ones get to eat it with a stick of celery, I’m told). But now her humiliating ramifications are two fold – she’s done something illegal and she’s breached the breatharian diet contract Wilhelmina makes every model sign.

No telling what sorta penalties they’ve written into the fine print.

Poor girl.