Did Mila Kunis loot a coop? Does it matter?

In today’s not-news, Mila Kunis is getting sued for stealing a chicken. Ya know, maybe if she’d hidden her identity behind a fantastic faux hair piece like SIA does when she steals stuff, then she could’ve gotten away with it better. And she could’ve gone un-sued. And she’d now be living a life with her new avian acquaintance like the imaginary characters from Friends did with their duck in that.. Read More

Hot model gives good face and nicks bad food.

So this delicious little dish of Vogue eye candy got arrested for stealing candy. First, I love the lawyer’s reply to the allegations that go as follows: 1. He said she forgot she had the items (like… chocolate bars?) in her bag when she left Whole Foods. 2. He said the “store detectives” singled her out. #IDon’tKnowHowToLawyer “While she was about to leave the store … she remembered what she.. Read More

Stealing half a mill is less illegal than smoking weed. (Who knew?!)

Ever wonder how much money’s in those parking meters? Thomas Rico, a public works inspector in New Jersey sure did – right before stealing $460,000 in quarters from a buncha them. Now, he’s facing about five years worth of probation for cuffin’ them coins. Really? That’s all? I mean I get that the fact that it was quarters sort of trivializes the story a bit. But, dude – that’s still.. Read More

Villainous valets pilfering for pay

Ever wonder what the valet does once in your Ferrari? Me either. Because I’ve never been in a Ferrari and my last valet encounter was at the ER. But for the woefully wealthy, it’s a nuisance they must face every day if they’d like to lunch with Lindsay and maintain an appearance of relevance in their glittering social strata. “I was certain I had a couple more of these “.. Read More

Taste the Painbow

And now, for another edition of random acts of cruelty. I came across this gem at some point while meandering through memery and other assorted forms of mental masturbation – A hidden camera to capture the reactions might have been even better. However, as a considerate person, I totally identify with why the prankster opted not to. I mean, when I replaced my Moutain Dew in the work fridge with.. Read More