My first hurricane experience came after I moved to New Orleans. I remember thinking two things: 1. This is magnificent (as I jogged down the trolley tracks of St. Charles against the violent shoving wall of wind, pelted by shards of rain, and seeing furling black clouds rolling toward me like oceanic waves of ebony gas) and 2. This is stupid! No, I don’t mean running in a hurricane is.. Read More
Prophetic fashion, turn to the right
…as in right on. I saw this thing circulating about the Nostradamus of fashion in 1939. People sharing this quaint little black and white past-blast are doing what we all tend to do when uncovering time capsuled prognostications – laughing with the condescension of an elder or a parent who “knows better”. But, you know – predictions from the late 30’s weren’t terribly off. Were they? Difference here is that.. Read More
Facebook Schizofriendia
How many of your facebook friends do you actually hang out with? And how does that make you feeeel? Surprise surprise. Science says people who overuse Facebook and overshare tend to be depressed. I’m an excellent example of somebody who used Facebook for many moons as a tool to talk to people without actually having to be around them (AKA complaining without having to hear other people complain back. Or.. Read More
Denial is a treehouse in VA
Days like today, I have this thought: “My life would be so much better – if I just had a treehouse… Just there beyond my balcony.” (“Hi. I’m Ashley’s balcony.”) My mythical branch mansion would have a short bridge – built of wooden slates – which I would traverse during summer evenings like this one with my tea in tow. And there I’d spend every warm night in sultry slumber,.. Read More
Something old, something newborn (crazy bride-mom)
Well, this Tennessee bride couldn’t find something “old” So she attached her “new” born to her dress-train and dragged it down the aisle: A new born, living on borrowed time, and soon to be blue …(after it dies – suffocating in chiffon) Are we being serious here? I legit want to know. Because just a few days ago, some news outlet hoaxed everyone by saying a comet was going to.. Read More
The 7 deadly yins of hot chakra work.
My dad recently asked me as we sipped coffee what “hot yoga” was.* I found it hard to give an apt description – partly because it’s different everytime I go, partly because I don’t really know what I’m doing, and partly because I wanted to do the Gwyneth thing and compare my memory of it to his Vietnam ones. But even I have a couth-line I draw. #sorrynotsorry Mostly, though,.. Read More
Brain drilling for depression?
Depressives never feel “whole”. So Dr. Satan’s drilling a hole in their heads – literally. Two to be exact. That’s right. A group of people who’ve waded through decades of the sad-sads (that have failed to abate with therapy and medical treatments) finally felt tortured enough to try anything. Among the “anything” experiments was a fairly recent one in which two thin tunnels were burrowed deep into a part of.. Read More
Double-Oh-DumbWatch
Remember when ring watches were as cool as a real life James Bond watch? No. Because they weren’t. And neither will be this new ringing watch that’s in the works. Companies are always trying to decide what other “innovative” offshoots they can create that we don’t really need – and smartphones are a great jumping off point. Thus, next up on deck is the concept of a “smart watch” –.. Read More
Eat rat sh*t and die(t)
Well, that’s special. Some recent studies where lab rats ate eachother’s butt fudge might just reveal why America’s so effing fat. What it comes down to, essentially, is our belly microbes – and how diverse they are. It’s said that variety’s the spice of life. And it’s apparently also the key to staying lean when it comes to your tummy and the creatures living in it. Pretty much, they took.. Read More
Can bloodshed help your sight?
Got bad vision? Why not hone those homicidal skills god gave you? With video games? That’s right. Video games are apparently the way to go if your vision’s going. But not just any one will do. The first person shooter game “Medal of Honor” has apparently passed both the wandering eye and cataract test. Between the “back and forth” motion your optical muscles are required to do – to the.. Read More