Get out of my dreams and into my bed.

Screw a mural that glows in the dark and rotates amidst the ceiling mirrors. I love that cosmic shiz so much… I want it in my bed. Especially after stumbling across this line of bedclothing that’s so ethereal looking, I’m still not sure if it glows in the dark or the designer’s just that good with white and neon contrast: Is it gaudy? Yes. Am I acting like I’m eleven.. Read More

Copulating in the cosmos

Ever wonder what it’d be like to get down… up there? While I’ve always wanted to venture off our spherical home and float around in the safety of an oxygenated, temperature controlled vessel for a while – I’ve always thought how surprisingly unsexy sex in space sounds. Sure, loving while levitating might be alright, but thoughts of jizz whizzing by and turning tummies make it sound slightly unappealing. And would.. Read More

Stephen Hawking suggests we recon the cosmos for a new home. Like, now.

Stephen Hawking says we should get our asses into outer space fast. But like… why should I listen to the smartest theoretical physicist since Einstein? I do what I want. Well, I won’t be able to do what I want when I come back next lifetime as a mouse or mouse dung fungus. And that’ll suck for not-so-badass-anymore me. ’cause Hawking insists we can’t live on earth indefinitely – not.. Read More

Holy intstellar internet timesink, Batman

As I sat sunning myself yesterday, my foot began throbbing. It’s my own fault. My cardio form has been so bad, I imagine I look like some flaccid Gumby push puppet when I take to the treadmill. My tendency to fall into a woe-is-me wallow moment was curtailed when I realized no one was there to cry to. Even my dog was throwing shade at me from the shady spot.. Read More