… tonight we root for Dexter. Or, ya know. We can just start now while it’s still sunny. Mmmyes. The creators of Dexter got this so very right – and they did an epic job of laying the emotional groundwork from the outset. Season one, episode one shoots an empathy arrow straight into the cardiac cavity of the audience watching with bated breath. It would be quite an undertaking to.. Read More
Hitchhikers guide to terraforming mars.
I just watched Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy for the first time this week. And my thoughts were 1. Mos Def is most awesome 2. I really thought when the dude asked him what to “leave out of new earth” at the end, he was going to say “seaworld” (‘cause of how it began with the dolphins leaving the earth from cruel orca captivity when it was about to blow.. Read More
More stores tricking me into being a money slut
I knew these retail demons had more up their sleeves than meets the eye. And they have more than meets the nose too. And ears. And math-brain-center. I’ve written about money trickery before, but I didn’t realize the hacking of our pocketbooks also hacks our olfactory bulbs. Indeed their light-bulb ideas span to sense hijacking beyond the predictable product placement and fake sales. Wait, did somebody say “bake sale”? No,.. Read More
Root for the villain: Alex DeLarge
Welcome to a new series, where I encourage you to root for the bad guys of film. Feel confused about that animal attraction you have to the sociopathic rapist? Shh… shhh. Don’t try to fight it. I can help you understand why cinema psychos are your bread and butter. And speaking of dairy food, we’ll start with the milk-drinking droog of Kubrik’s A Clockwork Orange. It’s hard to hate Alex.. Read More
Catching an Ibuprofen buzz?
Ever gotten high off motrin? Yes, I have got one! Well, kinda. No. Not really. More like “anti drug research results” – because I’m skeptical about everything. Especially when they talk about altering consciousness with OTC meds. I myself haven’t had the pleasure of feeling stoned on ibuprofen. But then again, with my former pharmaceutical diet, my body would’ve received Motrin the way most Americans do if you offer them.. Read More
OSU Band director fired for not being a snitch
So this OSU dude got fired because the shitty band brats he directed were hazing eachother. Apparently, these post high school nerds were inducting freshman to the group by ritualistically passing on the baton of grab-assery. And director Jon Waters got left with the shitty end of the drum stick. Why? Because the “simulated sex acts” and “members responding to demeaning nicknames of other members” and “groping” they did all.. Read More
Expect nada and get a lotta
At the peak of my Daria life-outlook (following a down-in-flames relache), I had a motto: “Expect nothing from anyone and never be disappointed.” At the time, I was trying to passively convey the morose message of “I’ve obviously been hurt but I want to look like a badass so I’ll show all of you by never trusting anyone again and pretending I’m Beatrice Kiddo, exacting revenge on random men like.. Read More
I still don’t know what these songs I’m singing mean.
As I was indulging my 90’s nostalgia, by melodically lamenting my loser status worthy of death, I wondered to myself, “Did Beck make this nonsense because they had a catchy tune they knew everyone would sing along to regardless of how ridiculous the lyrics are?” Then I got to thinking of some other songs lacking significance to sheltered pre-pubescent me. For example: Lakini’s Juice, by Live. Pepper, by Butthole Surfers… Read More
Technology hacking your telltale heart… with vibrations
You know what weirds me out? It weirds me out when my dog or niece or random creatures with no language capacity know when I’m nervous. My niece cries when I’m anxious and my dog sighs when I sigh. Or – how about this craziness I never talk about – how empty plastic bottles in the other room all start popping when I try to cure that nervousness with some.. Read More
Movies I don’t plan to see: WorldStarHipHop
Russell Simmons is super cool. What I like about celebs like him are how they bring an element of relatability to spirituality for us unspecial folk. He does yoga. He meditates. But unlike some of the stars I’ve witnessed go through a superficial metamorphosis, it’s not like he just fckks off his whole identity to move to an ashram or change career titles to “aghori sadhu”. He follows that old.. Read More