If only I were famous, I’d never have to deal with the problems peons do anymore.

Like calories, aging, or getting fired for shit talking about my fellow professionals on Twitter. Right?

Even though she literally got fired for doing that last one, we’re gonna employ the lovely Rose McGowan as a public cautionary tale example of how no one’s free from that. Even in the celebrity realm. ’cause homegirl did some digital Jawbreaking (last famous movie of hers I can recall enough to punnily reference) on Twitter recently regarding an allegedly “sexist” casting call note… whereupon her acting agent fired her. Now, there’s some discrepancy as to whether that’s true versus whether the agent had actually left the agency pre-tweet (which would mean that was the reason why she wasn’t working with McG anymore and that Rose’s follow-up sardonic posts were merely manifested symptoms of the intrinsic disease suffered by all actors #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder). But let’s pretend for a second that the agency did f’real fire her. If they did, would they have had a good excuse to? Let’s look at the note and Rose’s social media roasting of it:

Don’t shoot me, Emma Watsons of the world, but… I kinda fail to see the problem here.

Sure, it’s chick-objectification, but that’s not news in Hollywood, really. Is it? So, why is she laughing in surprise as if that memo doesn’t have fuzz on the back of it ’cause it’s been recycled on all of her scripts since nineteen-ninety-Charmed? But my surprise-at-her-surprise reaction’s not just because a quick Google image hunt with her name keyed into the search bar (or review of any of her work) would indicate her career was founded in part on her massive cans. But also because – if you’re doing a “Madam Panhandler” movie – WTF do you expect? Homie’s famous for his cheap-thrills laughter which inevitably means a lot of shame comedy and fart jokes sammiched betwixt the cozy embrace of two gratuitous flesh globes. If anything, I applaud this note for its straightforwardness. Why waste time and mental energy jerking each other off with euphemisms when we can call a thing a thing? And if you don’t like that thing, is there really a need to go home and mock it via web megaphone? I’d say no, ‘cause (unless you’ve got a less bitchy delivery than was used here), judging a business partner (or anyone at all, really) rarely speaks as poorly a message of them as it does of you. And that message is “I’m a judgmental person who’s talking shiz about these people A.) who you don’t know B.) who aren’t here to defend themselves and C.) and I’ll prolly do the same to you if you work with me.”

Far better to subscribe to an inverse version of this – with gossip instead of grub:

But Rose sees her own message through the rose colored glasses of inspiration instead:

“I just want to make it better for the next girl coming after me, that she doesn’t have to sell her body and soul just because she wants to be a creative person. That isn’t the fine that you pay at the gate,” she claims. I guess I’d just believe that more if she didn’t hide behind the faux laughter at it, pretending it’s suddenly abhorrent when she’s played that very objectified femme fatale herself her whole career. Maybe she’s trying to turn over a new identity leaf now that the petals are starting to fall, and that’s fine and awesome. But a Rose by any other updated name still has the thorns of history to acknowledge. Which is why I think her alleged underlying intention would be more believable if she was willing to point at that elephant in the room and be the punchline by saying: “Don’t do what I did”. Unfortunately, she ignores that amazing opportunity to actually set an example via humility, and maintains her tweet was meant to do that anyway – by showing chicks this note, with the implied takeaway being “Here’s what not to do as you seek work.” And, to be fair, she def succeeded in “here’s what not to do” example setting. Just not in the anti-sexism message-y way she intended. ‘cause this is indeed an excellent example setting reminder – but it’s more about how you never throw social media shade about your bizz-life or put your colleagues on online blast. Unless you have a really good, heroic, whistle-blowery reason to. Or unless you’re Rose McGowan who’s equal parts famous and well-endowed enough to wait for a more sugar coated invitation that’s basically the same message for basically the same role in basically the same movie. Except with less famous names. Which means, at this rate, Rose’s won’t professionally compensate for all her callous indictments much longer.

So, what’s the lesson learned today by celebrity example?

When in doubt, STFU. And if you can’t do that, at least STFU online.