*Sigh* Hi, my name is Ashley and I’m a hypocritical liarpants. The other day I… I watched… 50 Shades of HolyShitCanIRewindLifeAndHavemyTimeBack Now, hear me out. Because I’d started up a bootleg of it, paused because the quality was awful, saw the J-Simp photo shoot, had an intrigue-stiffy-deflation from that, decided not to watch, and then… finally… started seeing a shiz ton of other content makers who’d bravely sat through it.. Read More
Does porn star “library girl” need Jesus? Or just a backup plan?
Ever get nookie amongst books? Dirty in a word-atorium? Sexed hard against hardback texts? Some people just like getting down while they’re out in public. Regular people just trying to escape from their real careers and lives by indulging in a taboo with their boo. Libraries are quiet – like churches – which is why I tend to think this fantasy’s so common. With all that sacred silence, it feels.. Read More
Am I watching smut or a Sprite commercial?
I feel like commercials have just given up altogether lately. Granted, I don’t watch much T.V. (unless it’s a series or documentary OnDemand I’ve specifically sought out) much anymore, so it’s hard to know what the majority of stuff is out there. But between the shiz that manages to filter through my AdBlock somehow and the stuff that ends up on my Facebook feed because someone thinks it’s funny, I.. Read More
Is GQ right about porn being wrong?
I love new things. Not consumer goods, mind you. More like new experiences. Interruptions in the norm. Reminders that I’m still alive and have (at least in some quantum form) free will in this life. A new hobby. A new genre of music. A new route home. A new yoga pose. My brain loves novelty. Which is why this GQ piece on “don’t watch porn” interested me – particularly when.. Read More
From Russia with “love entertainment”: banning backsides backfires
I’ve always loved reverse psychology. People want what they’re told they can’t have. And you can totally use this to your advantage, if you’re smart. Which is why I don’t get why – if you’re a government who doesn’t want people to ingest a drug or sexercise a certain way – why you’d make that thing illegal. We’re little kids imprisoned in adult bodies. If you hide the cookies in.. Read More