This year’s boyfriend application: must be a cheater

Gee, is it already time for the annual AshleyPants boyfriend applications to be distributed? Time sure does fly. And, fortunately for you, it will go by just as fast when you’re filling it out. ’cause there’s only, like, one requirement on it. Or maybe two. I forget. So let’s review: Point one: Must be smart enough to pass a TEAS exam for entry into PTA school. Point two (Oh, look… Read More

Look at these troublemakers…

I love a good make-your-intestines-cringe style prank. Especially when it’s got levels to it. My recent fave was the stunt driver chick who didn’t warn her blind dates (I thought it was mostly ‘cause they didn’t ask – but maybe they did and she just lied about it #liesarefun) that she recklessly yet impeccably manned automobiles for a living. Then, there ensued a hidden-cam floorshow of delighted dude shrieks (and.. Read More

Why this woman bought her husband’s mistress lingerie.

I didn’t know how to react to this story at first. I mean it starts off like a pretty typical cheater tale: A woman opens her hubby’s suitcase to see a Viccy’s Secret bag in there with a nightie in red – a color she deliberately avoided wearing well into adulthood because she was “always told” it looked terrible against her fair skin and strawberry blonde hair. Hubby knew this.. Read More

Who says ridiculous talk shows aren’t insightful?

I realized three things when I mistakenly turned from the news to Dr. Phil today: 1.) Why am I watching this? (less a realization; more a serious moral self-inquiry, really.) 2.) He’s kinda just Jerry Springer with more credentials and less hair. 3.) I now get the real reason I’m not married or planning to be anytime soon. You see, the show was on cheaters, mistresses, and the like. IKR?.. Read More

Would you snitch on a preggo cheater?

In grade school, if your eyes wandered to your neighbor’s desk, you were caught cheating. But what if your wandering eyes caught a cheater? A cheating slut, that is? Like this dude’s did? (Fan at a game saw fellow fan’s preggo wife cheat-texting… and told him. In a note.) This is a tough call. Is cheating wrong? Yes. But when it comes to relationships, should we follow the TSA guidelines.. Read More