I’m only a few weeks into working outside the home, but I already would like to make a motion. Specifically – for baseball caps to be part of the accepted attire. Not just at my awesome new job. I mean everywhere – at every job. (Even tyrants in training) ’cause in the past year, my own go-to head shield of choice has come to be an extension of my scalp… Read More
Parachute panties or C string?
I’m not one to follow trends. Okay. That’s a lie. If Gwen Stefani’s doing it, I’mma try it at least once (i.e. red lipstick; literally once). But when it comes to fanny fashion, not so much. Especially if granny panties suddenly go en vogue like they seem to be doing, according to the magazines I shouldn’t be reading and Facebook shares on which I shouldn’t be clicking but totally am… Read More
Robots will raid your wardrobe this year.
Well we all knew robots were taking over the globe. But our clothes? Hold onto your Wall-E seats (mostly ‘cause you’re too fat and can’t move anymore and nothing else is in reach) because in mildly ridiculous news, the latest sartorial technology is this robot… that zips and unzips your clothes for you. Granted, I see this working beautifully for the handicapped and old people (even though maybe the robots.. Read More
The Walking Denim: JNCOs resurrected from grave of grade 8
Back when I was in the middle to high school era, the 70’s were making a comeback. The halls were filled with daisies and smiley face tops, platform shoes, and bell bottom jeans that looked like our spindly legs had been supplanted by dual Dysons made of denim. We even resurrected such phrases as “Groovy” and “Keep on truckin’” for god knows what reason. And as I’d traipse off to.. Read More
Woof wardrobe isn’t 100% stupid (say experts). But close (says me.)
When I was little, my mom would make me wear the most mortifying ensembles. Baubles. Clown suits. Ribbons with streamers. Dresses with shoulders that looked like cheerleader pompoms and felt like the pads the players they were cheering for wore. Mushroom hair cuts and thick awkward bangs. Tights and long sweatshirts. Poor fitting warm up suits that felt silly because I’d not yet myself been indoctrinated into the sports I.. Read More
Fashion, turn to the daft: Both’a these peeps need to get over themselves.
“The sun is but a morning star.” I like this Walden quote. Even though it’s a bit anthropocentric (the sun is there all the time and morning is just an experience we share here on rock ball number three from it depending on our positional relationship to it), it’s also cosmologically holistic: it’s just a star. One of many. Our life giving cosmic blob of gases, inconceivable heat, and fire.. Read More
Slutty duds save the day
If you’re a fellow femme whose early 20’s were anything like mine, then dressing slutty probably got you far. It got me flowers. It got me out of tickets. But has it ever gotten you out of a one way ticket to the wrong side of the flowers? Well, it did for this one British chick, Zoe Turner, who decided she was gonna dress up like a cross between Billie.. Read More
Why I love the slutty rawness of American Apparel ads.
American Apparel catches a lot of crap for having racy ads. I never given them much thought in times past, but I kind of love this sluttily advertised line now. In a sarcastic fist-bumpy kinda way – a fist with the center finger extended at convention, that is. I mean, there are a shiz ton of other company ads out there (Bebe, Victoria’s Secret, Guess, even Yurman) that also use.. Read More
Vintage bras were a sin against tit-kind.
I never met my maternal great grandmother. But from what I heard, she was awesome. And from what history says, she was probably awesome because she went through a lot of hard times – like The Great Depression, little food, tight funds, and shitty bras…? Yes. You heard me. There’s a lot of stuff our lady ancestors had to deal with while playing Suzy Seamstress and Connie Cook. And while.. Read More